Is it mine? My mind?

Anticipate the wait
And neglect to feel the pain
The way around it is just to sound it out
But realizing the truth is so much better
It's you... that wrote the letter
It's cold... put on a sweater
It's gold... keep it forever
Sever the strand binding your hands
Finding the key
Reminded to see
To hear
To taste
To smell
The fear of Hell
Well oh well
From where did that come?
The bottom of the see?
Oh no.
Probably from deception since the conception of my mind
My mind is mine
Why program it to fear?
Programmed by the fellowship since I was born
Torn in two but stuck between
Sword in sand
A cig in hand
Please oh please stab me
I can't make up my mind
My mind is mine
My mind is mine
I can't make up my mind
Stuck behind my life
It binds me
It's just jibberish
Put it away
It's childish
Stop what I say
But then again it's not just today that I feel this way
It will come back
It's a decision I've got to make
To make it through
To move on to new:
Things
New ways
New lives
A new mind
A true mind that's mine
And not bound by my past
By my everyday way of making it through
And believing the truth
Or is it beliving the lie?
I sigh...

I still can't make up my mind.