The past

I wake up each morning wandering were these bruises come from
thats when i notice
you with that bottle then i know
how could you do this to me
i was the one who held your hair when you throwing up
i was the one who watched after each he broke your heart
i saw the tears i laid with you
i was the one so why do i have the bruises because of you
i stayed up late at nights
to make sure you were alright
i prevented my little brother from seeing the real mother in you
i was the one who saw it all
the pain you caused
the pain i had to deal with to
there is so much i want to say to you
but i cant because I'm afraid ill show the weak side
and then everything will fall
i need to be strong for you for him for me
i closed the door on so many secrets of your life
from everyone but me
you may not have noticed me while i was in the other room making sure my brother didn't you and his father fighting
hitting each other
why couldn't you have made sure i didn't see anything either
i couldn't run
i was to young
with so many fears
i saw the beatings
i saw the blood
and sometimes
i wish i could forget it all
but i cant
its burned in my brain
and all i remember is the bad
never the good not there is much
if only you could read this poem and see how i really feel...