Ok some of the lines are longer than the ones after them which throws the poem of rhythmaticly. (you could try counting sylables to fix that) and you swich up the rhyme sceme, this isn't a freestyle it's a poem. now unless the poems was made that way for a good reason it should keep a structure or else the reader will read the lines and start to feel the rhythem and suddenly the poem shifts and sometimes not for the best plus they might be expecting the word to rhyme but then it doesn't subconsiously they would be let down. But that aside you did a good job don't take this perfectly I don't think any poem is perfect so thiers always something. I just wanted to be helpful. I love the idea - the way it ended- and the word use in some cases, I can almost feel your pain. I like that... keep up the good work you've got skill

Well done good write

It describes your hurt and heartache. Well done!

Aww this is definitly the best way too describe it!!! Good Job :)

Wow! full of raw emotion and pain, yet beautiful! I know how you feel 100%! fantastically written hun! 10/5 if I could!
Ciao < 3

This poem is amazing. I was looking for a poem on this site I could relate to and this was the first one I clicked on and wow... it's amazing. Great job.

This is such a great poem i really love it keep writing its so beautiful

Wow.. this poem is amazing. Absolutely beautifully written. I loved every single line of it. You captured all of your emotions and wrote about them so well. And the flow of this was perfect. I dont even know what to say.. i Loved this poem. I can relate to it so much. Great job on this! 5/5

I love this poem because I think so many people have felt this way. A lot of times it's hard to find the words to put these kind of feelings into, but you've done it beautifully. Great Job
XoxoX Allie

Nice, good job

Sarah
That was a nice poem! Very well designed and articulated...excellent! 5/5

This is really good!!

That was very beautiful. I joined just so I could comment on this poem. I write about many of the same things and found this poem to be very poignant.

This is a beautiful poem. It was very well writen, and I love how you can feel the emotion in it as you read. Really nice job.

This is a really sweet yet sad poem, it is sweet thst you loved this perosn so much, but sad for the obvious fact that that love brought you pain and sorrow, i just want to first of all thank you for sharing your peice with us, it was amazing, and very heartfel, i could feel all your love, anger, hate, and sadness that you portrayed. you are very talented, and i wish you all the best for the future.
All the best
..Kirsty
Please could you read and comment on my poems, i'd like to know what you think, and how i can improve. thanks xx

Hey. beautiful pioem. truly wonderful. amazing flow and such color full words. great job! :)

Good job thats a really good poem

Omg that poem ment soo much 2 me its 1 of the best poems ive ever read xxxx

I can relate to tH!S 100%..us girls & the things boys out us thru..But good pOem..GR3@t poem..lOl..Its always nice to put how you feel in writing!!!

I can't lie and say I relate but I can tell u that this was so well written that I felt as if I had. It was simply breathtaking. Honestly, you have a true talent.

XOX tiff