My heart beats faster
by Hebe Nov 2, 2006
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When I see you down the hall, |
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Latest Comments
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16 years agoby C Cattaway
'...When I see you smiling at me,
my breath failed me in my throat...'
failed is past tense, and the poem is written in the present, so the word should be changed to 'fails'. Apart from that, I really like this, and agree with above, that the repetition of your heart beating faster leads the reader to speed up also, and feel the urgency, making the poem more powerful. Well done. xx -
16 years ago
by Marc Ortiz
It was a wonderful poem, I like the use of repetition in this piece.
When I see you smiling at me,
my breath failed me in my throat
^^ This two lines reminded me of one of my favorite quotes, well done.
keep up the good work! -
16 years ago
by Birgit
Whoops, wasn't ready with my comment =P I spelled suppossed wrong xD but who cares.. =P
and again;
Nice poem ^^ -
16 years ago
by Birgit
This is cute =) But "frond" is suppossed to be "front" =) Just a minor detail ^^ anyway, keep it up!
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16 years ago
Loved it!!..nd thanks for ur coment aswell...
poem well done...keep it up:D
bree
