A dreadful mistake

by Brittany C   Nov 4, 2006


Floating on the night wind,
Calling out to you,
It asks for help,
Comes a sad voice,
But you don't go,

You know,
That something is wrong,
But you still don't go,
You don't want to take the chance of it being a trick,
So you run away,

A day passes,
And then another,
You felt guilty since you left,
The voice behind,
And now the guilt has grown,

In the end you go back,
Where you hard the voice,
But no one is there,
There was nothing,
But dead silence.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Vanessa

    I think you did an alright job on here, it is not as good as some of your that i have read, but its not bad either. there are a few spelling errors, and the emtion felt a little dry to me.

  • 17 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    I liked this, I found it very powerful.
    I found the structure a little confusing, but apart from that, it was perfect, I loved it!

  • 17 years ago

    by N J Thornton

    Powerful poem. You painted a clear image of being scared to face your fears and running away, then returning later to silence and realising your mistake. I like how you left the reasons up for interpretation, it allows the reader to apply it to their own "life" and it becomes more personal.
    I think you have a typo on the second line of the last stanza, "hard" should be "heard".
    Thanks for sharing.

  • 17 years ago

    by Robie Lincer

    This is an amazing poem!
    freaked me out a lil lool
    but i loved the way you used the words...
    keep it up!

  • 17 years ago

    by Darien

    I know you're a bit older than some of the poets on here, and you do make small mistakes, but that's because you don't edit your work. I think you should, read what you have written, and see if the words you are using are correct. You are still a young poet, so keep writing, and you will get better.

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