Alone I stand

Here I stand as I stand alone,
Happily married on the outside,
Inside I stand alone.
Pain sheers and tears at my heart,
Will it ever stop before it tears me apart?
I try to speak and let out this pain,
Only to be interrupted and left alone crying in the rain.
Would it be best to cut the pain from my heart so that it bleeds out of my soul,
One can only hope,
My mom helped to create this that I feel,
She took from me all that was real.
All I am is a used up ashtray,
Where people dump what they don't consume.
I have lost all that I am,
And have only myself to blame,
I am the face without a soul,
I am the face without a name.
When will it be my turn,
When can I crawl out of my mind and out of this dark hole,
When will everyone turn and see me.
I cry out in hopes of being heard,
I cry out for all that I feel inside,
I have so much to give and nothing left to hide,
For you, my family, I cry out.
Please see my hurt, my pain, not yours anymore.
I will no longer be your dumping ground for I must learn to be who I am, me.
I have always been your shoulder,
Now will you be mine,
Allow me the time to speak my fears,
Allow me to let out my pain, my hurt, my tears,
For if you do not then I will surely die for I can not stay locked inside,
For I am a person to and I my feelings I can longer hide.
The pills, the therapy, can not help,
I need to be free from the hurt,
For alone I stand as I stand alone.