Effect

by Melissa   Nov 25, 2006


A death, effects all
a death changes everything

the lives around that death will never be the same
the effect on some can make you go insane

it's the worst change in life to have someone die
it's the worst feeling when your one of those life trapped in the sorrow of a death
a feeling of depression, a feeling of shock
a paranoid sense of mind always worrying about what will happen next and never knowing
it could almost kill you when you have a death around you and for some it does.

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  • 17 years ago

    by Extinct Angel

    It is a very very good poem u got #1 in our poetry contest with it n i'm proud u used form in it 5/5 very good

  • 17 years ago

    by ellewen

    I believe the word you used was honest...
    Not horrible I can tell you were full of emotion which is always good, and it seems like a poem of grief like many of mine so I truly undertsnad where you are coming from. But- your poems need more rhythm, more poetic form. I have read allot of your poems, and they just seem to stop. They don't really end. And you could use some vocabulary, or something descriptive. Make them feel what you are feeling more then just a statement. Please do not be offended, I say these words only to do one thing and that is help you. I really hope you are someone who can take critisism bc sometimes people think I am coming off harder then I mean to. I promised I would comment four, so I will go on. And hey if you ever want to talk to me I have AIM or you could private message
    ~skittles

  • 17 years ago

    by ellewen

    I believe the word you used was honest...
    Not horrible I can tell you were full of emotion which is always good, and it seems like a poem of grief like many of mine so I truly undertsnad where you are coming from. But- your poems need more rhythm, more poetic form. I have read allot of your poems, and they just seem to stop. They don't really end. And you could use some vocabulary, or something descriptive. Make them feel what you are feeling more then just a statement. Please do not be offended, I say these words only to do one thing and that is help you. I really hope you are someone who can take critisism bc sometimes people think I am coming off harder then I mean to. I promised I would comment four, so I will go on. And hey if you ever want to talk to me I have AIM or you could private message
    ~skittles

  • 17 years ago

    by Brittany C

    Great poem. 5/5. The only problem I have with it is that it is to short. Keep up the great work.

  • 17 years ago

    by Tasha

    Wow this poem is realy good. 5/5 I am going to add you as one of my favorites if you dont mind. I just think that all the poems of yours that I have read so far are really well written.

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