Tears fall from my eyes into the air as the wind whistles in my ears.
My hair flies wild over my face as my tattered clothes flap.
I feel cold and alone.
To my right is a blur of gray textures.
To my left is the clear blue.
I see red blots beyond a blurry vision.
The red disappears into tiny specs as bigger blots fly away.
Just barely
I feel pain.
Not the pain of the knives stabbing my heart
But something new.
The pain was all over.
Not just my heart
But my arms
And legs
And..... everywhere.
I realize something that moment.
I realized that I wasn't breathing.
I waved my arms as hard as I could
And saw more red blots flying away.
The pain of my body poured into my mind.
It hurt so much
But I kept moving my body.
The more I moved
The more my body hurt.
The red blots
I realized
Were blood.
My blood.
Then everything came back to me.
I was in a fight with my beloved.
Joe held a knife.
I pushed him and he lunched at me
Time and time again.
I heard in my ears
My scream of horror
And feel fear in my heart
And tears in my eyes.
Then I hear the wind in my ears again
And see my hair in my face.
I close my eyes to bare away the pain.
Then I remember something from long ago.
Something Joe said to me.
I asked Joe if he'd catch me if I fell.
And he said yes.
But he was the one who pushed me.
So how could he catch me?
I cried harder
Just as the wind stopped howling.
I hear a loud thud
For a second my brain rattled
And my vision faded to darkness.
Then
I hear a voice.
It is kind
And sweet.
I see a warm light
And I struggle to open my eyes.
I see Joe bathed in white light.
He was an angel
And I was too.
The pain in my body was gone
But I didn't care.
I was finally with my lover
Joseph Lynn McCullough forever.
