I sit by the windowsill in a daze
Knowing this feeling won't go away
It burns and tears like a spider in my soul
The pain is just too unbearable.
I get this feeling inside of me
Knowing that it won't ever let me be free
It is so mixed up with confusion and terror
That when I pull at it, I pull out my hair.
I want this feeling to go away
I never, ever want it to stay
But it yells at me as loud as thunder
That if it ever left, I would be six feet under.
So I must bear with it and try to be happy
Even though I am not the same as I used to be
So if you ever see me smile
You will know that I am in denial.
