Where You Sleep (Ode)

I love Odes. I think they are one of the best kinds of poems.

I like love poems and I enjoyed this one.
Just a few things though.

"Absolute perfection
I see in your eyes,
as you sleep
my heart forever cries."

^^^
I think the forever makes it a few syllables too long. Maybe it can be as you sleep, my heart it cries. I don't know its up to you but it kind of ruined the flow for me which was going really well.

"Beautifully mastered
how you stole my heart"

^^^
love those lines, they are really sweet and meaningful.

"Without you here
I cant help but weep
so I sit here and pray
where you sleep"

^^^
WOW so powerful. Reminds me of a situation I went through and I love it when poems remind you of memories or make you think about things. Brilliant work.

Beautiful ending, wrapping up a great sweet poem.

well done
^_^

Because I like to take the time to really read and give good comment on poems and their authers, this will be my last comment for tonight.

This is excellent!
I don't often rate 5/5 simply because I think that everything can be inproved in some way, eventhought that doesn't mean I neccaserily have the answer on how to do so.
but... This poem defenatly deserves a 5/5!
The flow is great and it is very clear what needed to be said in this piece. you did a really great job in writing it!
the more I read your work, the more I like it!

thats it for now, I wish you a good night.
~*Natasha*~

Oh. thats just beautiful.. i love it! 5/5
<3 locamente enamorado <3

I love this poem it is soo full of emotion and love wow soo good i am sure who ever this is for loves (ed) this poem wow this is awesome lol

also thx for the comment glad you liked it, my friend kinda inspired me to write it lol:)

keenan

WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i like it its real sweet!!!!!!!!!!!!!
~*kalene*~