I Am So Weak

I wasn't coming into this looking for love.
I was looking for a training.
I'm a petty officer.
I'm not supposed to get attached.
So why did I make the exception?
For you?

I could have had someone safe.
I already did have someone safe.
And I left him for you.
And what do you do in return?
What do you say in return?
"I can't do this. I don't want to lead you on anymore."

I guess that you were right.
You told me that you would let me down, and you were right.
But I still trusted you.
I put my hand in yours and let you take over.
I put you in control.
I still don't know if that was good or bad.

It's bad because now I am sitting here hoping that you aren't hurting yourself.
This can work if you want it to.
You must trust me...I trusted you.
But if I had never let you take control, I would have never been able to love you.
I would have guarded my heart too closely.
I would have never let you in.

What if we never see each other again.
All of these words that I write are just words to make me feel better.
I can't trust fate to bring us together again.
After all, the one that I trusted let me down.
He ran away.
From me.