I hate you, thats a lie. deep within me, hiding inside.

I remember everything,
everything you've put me through.
But still after this all,
I wonder why I still love you.

I hate you times a million,
I will keep telling myself these things.
Until I finally believe it,
Let's see what the future brings.

But why do these feeling come back,
I've told them to leave me for good.
I never wanted them there in the first place,
So I hidden them as much as I could.

You don't have a clue,
As to everything you've put me through.
You could care less But still,
I wish you had knew.

I'm closed in this thing,
Thinking I'm safe from getting hurt.
But the truth is every things gotten worse,
I wish everything would just revert.

Acting like nothing has ever happened,
Will not do anything Remotely close.
To bringing peace with everything,
Before these horrid thought grow.

I will fight for what I believe is true,
And yes that means I'm going to fight or you.
I've told myself all of these lies,
Just to find out I truly love you. Who would have knew?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

have you ever had something on your mind so much, and it won't go away and it makes you upset but you just can't seem to get it off your mind?well a lot of things like that have been on my mind. Everything that has ever went terribly wrong in my lifetime has been on my mind. thats stuff from deaths to my father leaving to guys I've actually loved and lost. I hate it and I've been doing so much to try and get it off my mind but I can't and it has bringing me down too much and now people are beginning to notice how I'm feelings which is really bad because I can usually hide my feelings until they get to this extent