The Highest Man's Prayer

I don't have a lot to do nowadays, which is again, why I kill myself,
Very few have the privilege of dying a slow, but pleasant death.
I reach for it each day, each moment, at every breath on my shelf,
And stab that coldness into my skin.

Oh it's going to my head now, slowly it moves,
Nurturing and killing, its love for me only brings out my distaste for life,
Its pain only makes me love it more,
Up in heaven now I sore,
Up above the clouds so high, like an eagle in the sky and there I see the angels,
I move closer to them only to know that I do not have a ticket to enter,
But my birth was clean; it was life that led me to sin,
Why now for the happiness of others should I burn in this infernal place?

As I burnt my self down there, I turned to see her right beside me,
Was this my consolation I asked? Or was it just luck that she burns with me?
She who lied to me all the time,
Who'd sell my soul for a worthless dime?
She who broke my heart one day, who made me cry, who drove me away,
If not for her up there I'd be, up in wisps of cloud divine,
If not for her up there no sin's I'd have to call them mine.
She just stood there as I cried, she could not speak her hands were tied,
Her tongue was cut, her back was bled, her mind awake, her body dead.
And then to me it all was clear, why I had been sent down here,
To make her know why she was there, what pain I held, for her to bear.
It was but then I did realize, that love that suffered never dies,
And then to God I sat and prayed, let her not burn alone I said,
Let me take her place as I feel the pain, and she'd be my comfort up here with you,
To this he said, "So much in heaven I give to you, why then would you go burn for her?"
"I wish I knew", I answered back, somehow this just feels right,

So impressed by the love I had he got her back for me,
I stood by her and held her close, the sweetest smile to see,
Her eyes were filled with tears of words, that had a lot to say,
But then I snapped right out of it, was dreaming all the way,
This is why I like going back to that place inside of me,
It's only when I'm higher than the rest I feel completely free.