My Surrender

Very deep, and you can deffinatally see the personal connection in this poem, some parts I would change though to make it have a little better flow, and some of the parts i would switch out words that were previously used and say different words in place of them (but thats me) over all I think you really got the message through in this poem, and I like how you used the word "alas" in your poem, it added so much more to it!

Keep writing!

Seems I can only re-voice what's already been said before me but I honestly enjoyed reading this. Very creative, the lines jump and you're very talented.

~Joey
www.poetryartonline.com/forum/

P.s please check us out ^

5/5 :]

Very interesting and creative. You created very intense and dark atmosphere, whole poem is greatly written. I like the wording in it, and the flow is good, too.
Keep up, 5/5 from me

That was really nice! 5/5