Uhm i like this poem. def not your best but i voted a 5 anyway cause i love you :D. uhm in this stanza....

I taste your lips
Touching mine
I am floating
On could nine

how can you taste someones lips touching yours. lol i know what you mean it just doesnt sound right. but other then that its a good poem :d

Tihs poem is amazing!! u have so much talent! it's so cute!!great job! it flows really well. 5/5!!

*Shawte*

This is for lee!!!

That was beautiful...

I liked it... sweet, simple and from the bottom of your heart. If I may say, the short phrases made the poem appear choppy... rather re-arrange it into two liners... what I mean is this...

Lying here on your floor,
There's nothing that I could want more.

Being here so close to you;
In love so grand... so true.

I hear your heart... it's every beat;
and every sound surrounding me.

I see your face - A memory
Of you becoming part of me

I feel your breath... I'm in a daze;
So magical... close to your face.

I smell your scent... so embracing
Wonderful... and breathtaking!

I taste your lips touching mine,
I am floating on could nine

And I can't wait... please know it's true:
I want to... grow old with you.

Good write though... hope you don't mind my different perspective.

This poem is so sweet. The only problem I have with it is the short lines. I think you can combine some of them. It kind of ruins the mood with a big space.
EXAMPLE:
"A memory
Of you becoming
Part of me"

Otherwise, it's amazing. 5/5! :]

I can't really see any flaws in this your rhyming is quite tight not forced anywhere,and its from the heart so well done.

A* supernova or any one you would like to critique me on id apprieciate
i have only submitted three so far.

Very sweet and very cute. You did a wonderful job on the imagination of it all.. the reality.. the emotion. I think your flow was a little off though some lines were too short, and some too long. But that and:

I taste your lips
Touching mine
I am floating
On could nine

could nine? cloud meebe?

I dunno... but other than that, the rhyming was simply amazing. You did a great! job.
I loved this part the best:

I hear your heart
It's every beat
and every sound
Surrounding me

Excellent job

5/5

*Other than some suggesting to make sure you always double-check your work and spellcheck and whatnot, this was beautiful. I really enjoyed the simplicity of the stanzas and rhyme schemes. really good work, keep it up!

~jas~

I loved this =)
I can totally relate to it. Marcus can too =)
Thanks for making me smile so early in the morning =)
5/5 for sure
*Gem*

Ilove it it is so sweet

I second that. :) this is cute. i love it. the rhyming is good and it flows nicely. great job

Great job with this one, there's so much emotion. i love the way you wrote this, ur very talented!! 5/5!

Forever*Yours

I loved this poem the flow was good the rhyme was good, as were the word choices. 5/5 Take Care Cindy

Girl u have such flow and i'm loving it!.. this was a great love poem and i especially loved how each verse got more intimate as it went along. my favourite verses were "I see your face
A memory
Of you becoming
Part of me"... and..."I smell your scent
So embracing
Wonderful...
And breathtaking".

Well done 5/5

p.s well done on getting 3rd place in my contest! i loved your ideas in that poem, that were so creative and different i just HAD to give you a placing!! and it had such good flow! i love your style.. :)

Wow, nicely penned. I loved it. The flow as well as the strucutre was good. Keep up the wonderful work.

Peace, Joe

Hey beca i liked ur poem it was good i am brittany and am 13 and love 2 write

Wow you are an amazing writer! i love this poem. keep up the good work!

This one is really cute lol. It's written, with a few little grammar errors which others already put out there, but over all a great piece.

cella