Spiraling downward looking up watching the sky turn to grey
Going down a dark tunnel till the light on the outside turning from a street like to a headlight to a flash of light to a speck of light no light at all
Spiraling out of control dont have a rock to grasp dont have a limb to hold
Twisting turning raging running but not going anywhere Im in motion but not moving
Im fighting the current and its a losing battle from the salty water filling my lungs
Im drowning
The more I fight the more exhaustion over takes the feeling of survival
No end in sight only steep jagged sharp edges that if I grasp them they will cut me they will bleed me
Spiraling falling losing this battle
The more I twist the tighter I feel the more I try to stay calm the weaker I feel the more I react the less things happen
Will I survive?
Trying losing crying dying wishing hoping begging pleading going insane
Brain losing heart hurting thumping bumping out of breath am I dying
Spiraling crawling grabbing reaching pulling
Coughing aching hitting this is going to kill me
Why wont this subside?
This overwhelming urge comes over me just quit just sink stop fighting just lay there motionless let it over take you
Stop the spiral find a rock forget what everyone has said just stop and find your rock and climb out and survive and thrive
Look up look high look to that grey sskyook towards the lack of light
Rock bottom is where this is
All the spiraling crying crawling hoping for death has brought you here
Now what?
We arent dead well Im not dead
So I will spiral up look for a rock in the dark look at the black around me focus my eyes and I will see a speck and fight to see more
Spiraling no more I refuse to give up I thought I died thought I went insane but Im here might be at the bottom
The salt over took but the sweet smell of the darkness has encaptured me and now more than ever I want to dig my way out of this
I want to see the grey around me I want to envelope the salt become a rock become a limb fight my way up
Become the water that I was drowning in and overtake that spiral turn it upside down so it cant touch me
The insanity cant touch me or it will get cut!
Loving living breathing strength within me
Becoming belonging being unashamed
Walking stepping leaping emerging awakening
Living.
