I wish the memories would no longer remain so that I didn't have this pain that I feel from one's uttering of your name. Upon me are the guilt and the shame from believing you. And now all the blame is on my shoulders; the pressure is on my brain. I long to go back before this all. I wish the past and the future were the same. For merely thinking of you I go insane. Insanity known to fortune of fame. Feelings that make my heart brow lame. Though my heart grows numb and is froze cold, I still plot actions in my love ever so bold. I write tales of us, forever untold. Stories of a thieving Jezebel and the slavery into which I was sold. Every wish i did at your command; I bowed at your feet. Blinded was I to all the lies and deceit. Back when we first did meet, to me you were an amazing treat. To conquer such a feat would be a feeling none could beat. You said "lay back and take it slow. Just keep kewl and lay low." But I don't know if I can't publicly show my love for you and let everyone know. You wanted to better know me, and I you. Only fools rush in, but baby I'm a fool for you. I know it's sad, but it's true. I can't sit here and only be #2. I'm goin' crazy and I don't know what else to do. You claimed to love me, and I did you. But I knew it was too good to be true. The past repetition was way over due. I know its something u had to do but when you called and said "we're through" it made me miss you even more. Already I miss you so much, but it's something no longer can I admit. Several times do I long to quit. You make things so hard and I don't wanna deal with it. I can't get back all my wasted time. I can't avenge this crime. You were the rhythm to my rhyme. From one to ten you were a dime. From sour to sweet you made my life lemon to lime. You were my endeavor. I longed to be with you forever. But now we shall be never. Locked away in me you were my treasure. But I do guess we shall always share a love that was never there. A love invisible, now so rare. To now see you with him is a sight I wish not to bare. Alas, you were the main focus of my prayer. I may be wrong, but it seems to me as if you didn't care for me the way I did you. With you I still do wanna stay. But your games no longer will I play. Forget before what I did say. On the floor to you my heart long did lay. Still it seems me you did betray. You awoke me from my sleep just to kill me. Maybe you didn't see myself the way you appeared to me. You possessed my mind. To you I was so kind. Just thinking of you helped in any bind. In my soul you did become entwined. Now it is time to get over you, you're in the past. We were meant to last. But it was your fault we crashed. Because of you I'm emotionally trashed. How can you ask to be friends when you were the cause of my end? Do you expect me to just pretend what you said never did happen? I don't think I can do that! Sadly, if you asked, in a heart beat I would take you back. Since you left my life completely fell off track. Now I slack off everything. I just don't care. When I need you, you won't be there no more. When I was with you life seemed fair. With you in mind I could bare through the tough times, no matter how rough. Life for me is headed straight down. I'm afraid to even come around. To your friends my name has become profound. People frown at its sound. To them I'm fake and a clown. No longer do I have reputation. Acknowledging me my friends even have hesitation. You have become my greatest complication.
