Last night I can not put into words. Shocked, and confused I do not know rather to scream or to fall into complete silence. I pinch myself, I still feel like I may still be dreaming. To try to rid myself of the feeling of being in a dream, and the filth.
Turning over the faucet on the tub, I fill it to the top of scalding hot water. Feeling the burn startles me yet calms me, I dunk myself under the water. Feeling myself lose breath I raise up.
All the memories from last night come back,flooding my mind, and my soul. One way to rid the shock,and the feeling of shame, I do not want to do it. I know I must not, I know by picking the razor and sliding it across my wrist, I will feel like a queen.This queen loves to feel pain, to control her tears.
Temptation calls me, I pick the razor up, I slide it on my wrist, it feels great.
Nothing can ever hurt me as long as I control my own pain.
