Dreaded Today

Shaking, shivering,
Laying in my bed,
Quivering and thinking
Of the thoughts swirling through my head.
Sudden death and punishment,
Pain beyond belief,
And yet the tears won't come,
To give me some relief.
From the second that it started,
I had dreaded today,
From the first phone call I got,
I knew it wouldn't fade away.
The day passed by in a blur,
One failure after the next,
The final blow to my body,
Would leave me lying, vexed.
I can no longer live in peace,
But as much as I want to die,
I have to believe that I can spread my wings,
And use my pain to help me fly.
My heart is filled with so much pain,
My eyes can hardly see,
And finally the tears begin,
And finally, I weep.
The tears come ever faster,
As though they would never halt,
And as I wail, I wonder
If maybe, it was my fault.
Losing everything all together,
All options fading away,
My tears begin to drown me,
Even as I start to say,
There's so much chaos in this world,
How do we all survive?
When the days that we all come to dread
Only make us cry?