When alone in thought...
it is always there.
Beside me it is always.
Surrounding me completely in its torture.
Never ceasing the tormenting thoughts and actions.
It haunts me endlessly.
Thought my face may seem alight with euphoria..
that is just a mask I wear.
Eternally entrapped in its embrace.
Perhaps I stay because it is easy...
Or possibly it is my fate.
As time propels it flourishes.
When in thought it devours me.
Sorrow,relentless agony, torture,
it is all those things and more.
What it is...
the darkness inside.
It leaves me in chains and shackle's in a place beyond anyones reach.
It is all I can do to breathe.
It seems so real that with the slightest movements ...
I can almost hear there clinking.
To you everything may seem alright when the smile is upon my lips....
But in truth it is not.
My friends could never understand.
With them it is sheer agony.
They are sorrow to me.
They are so pristine.
They are like a flock of free birds...
and I am the one that is caged.
It is slowly killing me.
For the slightest things they take for granted are lost to me.
They do not know how much it torments me, to see them...
smile,love,and to be happy.
They could never know how it affects me.
Their love,trust,kindness,and smiles feel like brutal punches.
They could never know the light they are apart of scorches me and makes me turn from them.
Never knowing it tears me apart.
With every heart beat.
As my pulsing blood screams against all they are.
Their very trusts, friendships,loves,hopes,smiles,and tears,leave me a battered child.
Giving me invisible wounds that never heal.
They are like smoldering metal against my skin as they cut me without ever knowing.
The darkness is my only sanctuary...
But it is also my hell.
IN a place where nothing can reach me.
Always it is hidden inside.
