Demon
by April McLaren Mar 8, 2007
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You took my innocence. you took my life. you took what you wanted. you didn't care if i cried. you watched me happy to be in pain for it was vain. you made me look at you when all i wanted was to die you hurt me for what a notch on the belt you took me as your prize. |
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Latest Comments
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17 years ago
Glad to see u got more poems on here ape i think laura might be right about the flow of this poem. I have a contest for rape poems called untold stories in the main discussion board after polishing this beauty up u might want to enter it.
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17 years ago
by Laura
This was very expressive write! i think the flow would benefit from using a different format for your poem as it reads now it kinda all blends together srta like a story...all in all you described a hurt that i can really relate to.
for this last line
i proved to you wrong for i faced you my demon
i think it would read easier if you removed the 'to' after the word proved.
no i am no poetry expert so these are jus my opinions and personal suggestions.
