Life is a question

Life is a question
Why are you noticed one minute,
but not the next?
You are called many things by many people
and you just have to accept that fact that what they say is true
If you are lucky you will find someone who truly understands, cares, and relates
I am one of the lucky people
I found an awesome friend, she's my best
If it wasn't for that one night
I would have never know anyone could relate
We shared our secrets and i began to wish i had gotten to know her sooner
I consider her my best friend and she probably knows that,
but what she doesn't know is how much i value our friendship
or how much she really means to me and has helped me
Nothing i say or do could show her what she really means
Quite recently i found something out
I had no idea she felt this way,
she blames herself for the things that i did
It made me break down in tears to know she felt this way when its not her fault
I feel like a horrible person for not knowing of all her guilt
and i feel like i caused her to blame herself,
i caused her to feel more pain
If only i would have been a good friend and realized how i was making her feel
then i wouldn't have caused her to blame herself, doubling her pain
I feel horrible that she blames herself
Truth is, i feel guilty of wrecking her life
She isn't to blame for anything but i never let her know that
so she blames herself
I complain about things she has to deal with too
she says thats what she's there for
but i think it might make her sad
because it reminds her of her life
I am to blame for her pain
when she is said its because i caused it
by complaining and being selfish,
never listening to what her eyes are trying to say
I feel like i am a failure
I failed to help my best friend
Deep inside i can see she's dying
but i am too stupid to know what to do anymore
because I've caused her enough pain already,
and I'm afraid i will just cause more
I am just a screw up and a bad friend who causes her pain,
and yet, she still seems to like me,
like a friend