I can hurt myself more than you can

I can hurt myself more than you can.
This I know
And every night I fall asleep
After reassuring my hypothesis.

My skin screams "See!
See what I can do?!
I did this and I can do it again
And no matter what you do
It will never hurt as much as this.
I can hurt myself more.
I am the only one that knows how to.
I can exacerbate my self doubting and fears
To the point of heart failure.
I can rip open the veins that keep me alive
And kill them.
I can tear and burn my flesh
Until it is a molten pile of pain.
And I can do this.
You never will,
I shall never let you.
No matter what you do,
No matter how hard you punch and scream and bruise,
I shall do it harder.
Just watch me try"

And I shall proclaim this upon my body
Which is no longer a blank canvas
But a bloodied artwork of pain.
And I know
I can hurt myself more than you can.