Why do I need a man?

Why do I need a man?
To help me open doors?
Excuse me if I'm wrong,
but what are my hands for?
Why do I need a man?
To help me do hard work?
I am just as capable
even though I wear a skirt
Why do I need a man?
To pick me up when I'm down?
I had to stand on my own two feet
when no one else was around
Why do I need a man?
So I can have a family someday?
I don't want to look fat and ugly
No I'd rather adopt and be gay
Why do I need a man?
To get some time between the sheets?
A dildo can do the same thing
and batteries are cheap
why do I need a man?
To tell me what to wear?
I'll wear my torn up jeans and shirts
and I don't even care
Why do I need a man?
To share the holidays with?
Well I know exactly what I like,
so I can buy the perfect gift
Why do I need a man?
So my life can be shared?
The single life is less stressful
and less strands of gray hair
Why do I need a man?
So he can eat up all my food?
I'd rather buy a dog instead
and just lock up all my shoes
Why do I need a man?
To share my feelings with?
Tape recorders never interrupt
and get all angry and pissed
Why do I need a man?
So he can point out all my faults?
If I wanted to be told what to do
I would have joined a colt
Why do I need a man?
Being single thats whats up
I can dis all the men I want
and I don't give a fuk

(I know its kinda long but plz tell me what you think)