Awe. That was such a cute poem but the ending was really sad.. But so beautiful. The flow was great & so were the rhymes.

I really did love the ending...It was so unexpected.

Beautifully penned, babe.

Bri [x]

Hey that is great and i loved the end alot! way to go! could u comment on my poems please thanks!

This poem had a good ending and the first stanza was kinda funny...the flow was inconsistant though...it was probably because of the differnce of the line lengths...you didn't use any punctuation...(and i can't spell lol)Although i did like the theme and/or the meaning behind the poem...overall it was a pretty good poem...not my favorite but still good.
Your friend>Jonda Beth

Okay i liked it. It's just not my kind of poem I suppose. I like your descriptions. They leave great imagery. But there is this one line that was way off in my point of view.

"And when I think I love you enough
You say one more thing so sweetly"

They didn't go together well at all. You should find something that rhymes with enough. Like tough, or rough or something. All the rest of the stanzas end well though.
I also think that you should start it off a little differently. Like inform the audience of who it is you are talking about a little more. And if you are going to describe him then atleasy give more detail.
And last but not least I think you say the words "I love you" to much. It just makes it sound cheesy.

Im really not trying to be mean, I'm just trying to give you my honest opinion. I tend to pcik at things allot and i really hope you can take critisism.. Allot of people take it the wrong way. Im going to comment more tomarrow. I'm not sure if this is 50 words but I write pretty long coments anyway and I wouldnt doubt it, so why bother. I expect the same in return though! no one liners! lol okay buh bye

Okay i liked it. It's just not my kind of poem I suppose. I like your descriptions. They leave great imagery. But there is this one line that was way off in my point of view.

"And when I think I love you enough
You say one more thing so sweetly"

They didn't go together well at all. You should find something that rhymes with enough. Like tough, or rough or something. All the rest of the stanzas end well though.
I also think that you should start it off a little differently. Like inform the audience of who it is you are talking about a little more. And if you are going to describe him then atleasy give more detail.
And last but not least I think you say the words "I love you" to much. It just makes it sound cheesy.

Im really not trying to be mean, I'm just trying to give you my honest opinion. I tend to pcik at things allot and i really hope you can take critisism.. Allot of people take it the wrong way. Im going to comment more tomarrow. I'm not sure if this is 50 words but I write pretty long coments anyway and I wouldnt doubt it, so why bother. I expect the same in return though! no one liners! lol okay buh bye

I think it's cute, the first stanza reminds me of a little girl swooning over a middle school crush. I do think though that "muscular" could be substituted with perhaps "chizzled" or "Sculpted". I think it's a bit more poetic, but if you like it the way it is then definitely keep it that way.

I liked how in the next stanza it switched from a humorous tone to a more in depth feeling. I liked the lines,
"your sharp eyes are like knives...they stare deeply into me"

one thing though, "brake my heart" should be "bREak my heart"

Keep it up

Unexpected last line lol, but overall it was a pretty good poem, I love it!

Hey i can finally comment on this poem. sorry i am a bit late. again this is a wonderful poem. the imanginy was magic!

5/5 always david

Short but cute.
Wonderful job. 4/5
Keep it up!

Goodness, you need to change your profile, sweetie.
It ' s saying that you ' re not as good of poet as the rest of us, you ' re an amazing poet.

This right here proves it.
I loved the ending especially. :]
Defintly 5/5 on this one!!

And, in the.. fourth stanza, it's break, not brake. Brake is like a car ' s brake, and yeah... you get it. Baha.

I like diz poem its really cute! 5/5

That is beautiful i loved it. and its break not brake. but i wont take that into considerdation when i rate your poem as a 5/5. and the intense feeling, its just breathtaking. however, i dont think you should say knives. its not as attractive. knives usually bring pain..unless your foreshadowing to be hurt by cold eyes.

Aww cute, i know the feeling trust me, but he'll be there someday, just don't look for exactly that person, give many a chance.

as for the grammatical part of the poem, it was good, but the flow was a little off and the wording was too. your others were better, more sophisticated. i like the more sophisticated poems that you write. also you have brake instead of break, you'll wanna edit that. you did a nice job though, keep writing you have talent.

Again a wonderful write that came right from the heart. Excellent write. I must say use puncuation it will make the peice stronger.

This line, "Just don't brake my heart" you used the wrong "brake" it should be, "break" the word you used means like a car brake.

Fouth stanza last line change "wont" to "won't" small error that's all

Peace, Joe