Orions Gaze

by Silenced no more   Mar 13, 2007


Looking at the stars
What do I see?
Sensual sunbursts
Glowing with masculine delight

Your mighty bow in hand
Opening it forth with strength
Arrow ready to slay the bear
Thought you would protect me always

Missed your target
Maybe struck it true
Pierced by deceit
My voice was silenced

I will not retreat
Staring into your eyes
Fear will not fill my mine
New voice have I found

I am silenced no more.

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  • 18 years ago

    by Laura

    Superb!! It was a wonderful write...created very realistic imagery and the style was astounding!

    the last stanze (which by the way ended the poem off very strong)
    I will not retreat
    Staring into your eyes
    Fear will not fill my mine
    New voice have I found
    ...could you have possibly meant 'mind' instead of 'mine'?

  • 18 years ago

    by Michelle

    I really liked it. I love the imagery, and I feel like it tells a story through the parallel of a constellation and relationship 9perhaps? that's what I got). You did a lovely job of recreating the picture through poetic structure and sound. One thing though, was "Fear will not fill my mine"
    meant to be "mind"? that's what I got out of it but I could be wrong. Anyway,
    my favorite lines were,
    "Missed your target
    Maybe struck it true
    Pierced by deceit
    My voice was silenced"

    Wonderful job

  • 18 years ago

    by Jason

    Keep that voice a singing girl. Nice piece with a stroke of resiliance at the end.

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