Lies From My Own Mind

There is this voice inside my head
Telling me what to do.
Trying to cause me harm
By telling me lies that are not true.

It promised me beauty,
A life with no more shame.
But all I have gotten
Is a heart full of pain.

it promised me happiness
A life filled with joy.
But it's only messed with my emotions
Treating them like a worthless toy.

It told me I would feel better
Better than ever before.
I thought it was going well
Until it kept telling me to lose more.

So of course I followed the rules
After all these promises were made.
But it never warned me once
About the prices I'd have to pay.

It told me food is the enemy
I am your friend.
Believe in what I say,
And all your problems will soon end.

So I continued to believe
But my problems only got worse.
Knowing now I have lost everything
Is what really hurts.

It continues to throw me battles
That I keep trying to fight..
It keeps me thinking about tomorrow
Keeping me awake at night.

Feeling so tired
Another night without sleep.
It kept me awake again
Now my whole body feels weak.

I've played it's stupid games,
Now it won't let me give up.
I'm truly trying to fight it
Because I've honestly had enough.

I never thought it could be this hard
To just simply sit down and eat.
But it always makes me feel such guilt
Even after having one small treat.

I keep telling it to leave
But it just won't go away.
It only makes me feel like crap
Each and every day.

I believed all it's lies.
I made that big mistake.
Now if only I could get out of this.
I don't know how much more I can take.

Will it ever leave me along?
Will I ever be happy again?
I've been stuck with it for so long.
I just want all this to end.

This voice somehow took over.
It's control that I now lack.
I just pray for a quick recovery.
All I want is my old life back.