Fallen Leaves

by dollwithafrown   Mar 31, 2007


Young angels play among us,
With a song inside their heart.
Their beauty outshines everything,
Admired like treasure, or perfect art.

Behind the smiling faces,
Lies secrets beyond repair.
While nobody is looking,
They search for a love that is not there.

They're like withered leaves in winter,
That have fallen to the ground.
At night they lie in the bitter cold,
Just hoping to be found.

From the outside they are envied,
As if their life is at its best.
Yet it's a deeply different story;
They are anything but blessed.

They just want to be found,
With hugging arms, cheerful faces.
Yet they live their life, just hiding out
Inside their disguising, happy faces.

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by I Seem to be the Heartless

    So powerful, so magnificently wonderful...

    Keep up the great job!!!

    Josie

  • 18 years ago

    by HOLLYWOODxBANGBANG

    The first thing I noticed, because before I read a poem I always look at the structure..but I noticed that each second line was not capitalized along with the rest...it would make it look a lot neater if they were all capitalized. =) And the second thing I noticed was "They're liked withered leaves" I think you meant to say that they're like withered leaves. Those were the only things I noticed wrong, everything else was fine.

    I really liked the ending lines in this poem as well. Keep up the good work. =)

  • 18 years ago

    by Poetess Lana

    Very good!! you are a great poet; I really enjoyed reading and commenting.

    again, congrats in the contest!!!

    Allanah 5/5

  • 18 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    I thought this was beautiful..original in style and concept.
    The flow was beautiful, imagery perfect.
    The only thing that threw me off was that you rhymed faces with faces.
    Apart from that, I love it!

  • 18 years ago

    by Simple Sensation

    Hey,
    i like this poem becuase of the simple fact that i havent read naything like it. Its different, i like different. WHne i read the first stanza i was quite enjaged in, i wondered why you put it in the sad section of the site. My favorite staza was this one;

    "They're liked withered leaves in winter,
    that have fallen to the ground.
    At night they lie in the bitter cold,
    just hoping to be found."

    I really like how youve compared it with "Fallen leaves" i guess. You creatd amazing inagery in this stanza, i could see the picture in my head. I liked your punctuation in this poem, and the flow was good. So again a very enjoyable read. Keep it up! xx

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