Tired

by Br0k3n   Apr 3, 2007


I'm so tired of being me,
I'm dying inside, but you cant see.
My souls lifeless, fades away with time,
Its not worth anymore, not even a dime.

And one day when I'm finally dead,
I don't want you a tear to shed.
Just laugh over the open coffins door,
But I wont hear it anymore, it wont stab into my core.

It wont bring tears, it wont bring pain,
Nor another cut into my vein.
I wont hear you, Ill be gone,
Well my life, it'll be done.

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Simple Sensation

    Hey,
    First of all thank you for your comment.
    Secoundly i really enjoyed htis poem, it displayed great emotion and was very heartfelt. The rhyming was good, it didnt seem forced at any point. The overall poem creates this... feel.. i odnt know but for me it keeps me thinking about the poem after ive finished reading it. I liked your conclusion to the poem, considering the topic of the poem i think its excellently concluded. Youve got this pacific punctuation scheme going on through it, and well i dont like that bit of the poem. I thought you should ofused enjambment in some places and stuff liek that. But other then its a great read! Keep it up! xx

  • 17 years ago

    by Black night

    Good poem, thought it really showed deep emotion. dont be so hard pn yourself, of course people will shead a tear, altho they will all be old and grey haired as you will be. No one realises how important their life really is, and how it impacts others.
    Keep going, if you ever want to talk, email me at weebie_drift@yahoo.co.uk
    5/5
    good job
    -Black night-

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