I thought when I got out of jail
I was rid of all my pain,
Til December 31st, emotionally I fell
and what I told my family went down the drain;
I told them when I got out, I'd be fine
at first I was doing good,
I was walking a straight line
just like I said I would;
But than I went back to drinking
thats when I seen that my pain is still stored,
I hid it without even knowing
until again my tears poured;
I now know I still hurt
So now I'm looking to the Lord,
Instead of giving my pain to You, I layed it down in the dirt
cause I felt, on my shoulders, I held the world;
I couldn't believe in me what I found
cause with it all I thought I was done,
I guess I threw away all the bad sound
cause I just wanted to have fun;
But that night I felt the rain
and with tears in my eyes I couldn't see,
That I still and was causing my family pain
cause I'm still running away from me;
Lord, I pray to You up above
please help me deal with my pain,
Once before I felt Your Love
and thats how I stayed sane;
I'm still here looking for You
I know You see me here,
I'm confused and don't know what to do
cause inside I still live in fear;
I am tired of living down
with all this pain inside,
Everyday walking around with a frown
which from everybody I have to hide;
I don't want to put up a front
but Lord who can I show?,
These people I don't want to hurt
so I don't want them to know;
How inside, how I really feel
cause I told them with it I was done
So with it alone, I'll have to deal
and away from me, still run;
I'm asking for Your guidance
please Lord show me the way,
I don't want this remembrance
thats why I'm hurting everyday;
Lord, I'm tired of walking alone
I want to be by Your side,
I'm tired down to the bone
so Lord away from You I won't hide;
Lord, thank You for everything
that You've done for me already,
For putting me under Your wing
and showing me, its possible for me to be happy;
Showing me that if I keep looking for You
You'll keep answering all of my questions,
You'll show me what to do
by still giving me lessons;
I'm gonna do my best
to stay with Your Word,
I know one day, I'll rest
cause now I have You Lord!
