Nice Nightmare?

by Simple Sensation   Apr 8, 2007


Creamy chocolate cake,
Beautifuly baked buns and biscuits,
Mouth-watering muffins.

They seem so nice;
Yet some people hate them.
Their stomachs knot in disgust
As they approach their sight...

They want to stay away
But they had a bad day...

So the food calls them,
And then they eat;
Bite after bite,
Piece after piece,
They binge on the food
That to others is a treat.

But then they panic,
And count the calories...
The self hate takes over,
And they're down on their knees.

They see it all once more,
All of these treats.
In the mists of swirling spirals of water,
Or inside of the clean white sink.

Contemplating Suicide
8th April 2007

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by MiaFairy

    This is great! 5/5

  • 18 years ago

    by CHOKE

    Lovely poem as always! :D there were a few lines that just weren't working for me though. but other than that it was great. 5/5 love.

  • 18 years ago

    by BrixGoesxRawr

    Aw. Wow, this poem was so terrible! So sad ;[ It literatlly brought tears to my eyes. I guess because, it's such a common thing in teenagers these days. And it's terrible, such a horrible disease. There's really no help for them.

    As they approach there sight... [there, should be their*]

    And theyre down on their knees. [they're*]

    The flow was a bit rocky.. but I loved the story told. Even though this is a cliche subject.. you penned it very well & not like most bullimic poems I've read.

    Very nice.

  • 18 years ago

    by BeautifulxMess

    Nicely done. You told a story about fat foods and how bullimic people think about it. Well done! I personally didn't find any mistakes within the poem The flow seemed a little shaky but other than that it was very good. God Bless 5/5
    <3Tayy

  • 18 years ago

    by Teria

    And theyre down on their knees.
    ^ * you're.

    They want to stay away
    But they had a bad day...
    ^ Those two lines, they rhymed. The rest of the poem didn't. It threw the flow off a bit.

    Other than those two things this was a great poem.
    I loved how you went about writing the poem. Without making it sound too cliche, or making it unbearable. Some people will go into more detail making the poem gory. You didn't which I absolutely loved. :]
    The flow was pretty good, along with the way it was set up.

    Great Job.
    Keep it up. :]

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