Darkness

by Vanessa   Apr 21, 2007


I cough so hard, I stop breathing

These demons are deceiving

My eyes roll in the back of my head

MY lips turn blue, am I dead?

It is a wicked feeling, A twisted rush

Almost like death did brush

Right up against me

Finally setting my soul free

I

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by CY GINDLE

    Its perfect just the way it is

  • 17 years ago

    by LifeThroughMyEyes

    I dont get the i at the end....but good poem none the less

  • 17 years ago

    by CY GINDLE

    I LIKE AND UNDERSTOOD IT 5/5 CY

  • 17 years ago

    by KeyxMashingxParody

    It was good, but not as strong as it should be. I say the shorter your poems are, the stronger they should be. I shall give it a 5/5!

    -Liz-
    ~muahs to all~

  • 17 years ago

    by Simple Sensation

    Hey, Thank you for your comments.
    Now about htis poiem, i liked it but it was to short. Something missing... it needs more to it. And may i ask what the "I" at the end is for? is this poem unfinished or soemthing? I htink this poem could be improved... i liked the rhyming of it. It doesnt seem forced at any stage. Like i said... it needs something more... Now a bad read but could be imoproved. Keep writing though. xx

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