Sadness Building Up

On the outside I show a disguise, not the real me
you have to come closer if you want to really see
the truth beneath me the truth I hold inside
the truth I don't let show, covered up by my pride

I have a sadness I'm trying hard to overcome
a sadness deep with in I wish was over and done
It sometimes takes control of me
it wont let me live normal, it just won't let me be

I'm sad about the troubles that were brought into my life
I'm sad about being with a man, and knowing Ill never be his wife
I'm sad about all the time I miss out on my kids lives
because I spend my time working and school, just trying to survive

I'm sad about the things I got going on
I know I shouldn't be weak, I know I should be strong
but all this stress is just building up inside
It reaching its way out, its getting harder and harder to hide

Its just hard when I know I'm doing the best that I can
and things just get harder, I just don't understand
I don't want to be away from my children it hurts me to know
that they think every time I leave I really want to go

I'm doing what I need to, since I don't want to depend on anyone else
the only person in this world that can help me is myself
I don't know what to do, Im ashamed and feeling hurt
I really need some encouragement, or even just some thoughtful words