Something I Wish To Say

There is something I wish to say
Something I yearn to tell
Yet to speak is the hardest part
Which entraps me in this hell

But the words get lost somehow
Get confused and jumbled around
Then they're released all at once
As a variety of jumbled sound

Maybe I should write a letter
To explain what I cannot say
But when you realized the writer
You'd surely throw that away

The only way is through words
So I take the deepest breath
Concentrate on speaking
And prepare myself for death

I'm shaking uncontrollably
And I'm scared beyond belief
Then I mumbled the words
And for a second there's relief

But this relief is short lived
As anxiety seeps through
I wait in desperation
Wondering, what next I should do

Time seems to almost stop
As I wait for your reply
Know you won't feel the same
But knowing if you don't, I'll die

But before you can respond
Something happens like before
I awaken from my slumber
With mother banging at the door