I'm so sorry mom

Please don't look at me like that
I've tried so hard to hide
I can't believe you found me again
Trapped in my web of lies
I have no where to run
No where to go
my eyes can longer hold
the pain I've tried not to show

The girl you've talked to she's not me
well not the real me
not the one you now see
I'm trapped in her web of lies
I've got no alibi
no elaborated lie to hold myself up now

Attention seeking, Self absorbed
self harming, a broken w****
lost within a give and take
just another way to relieve her pain
I've lost so many people
I can't bare to lose one more
he pulled my last thread
when he walked out that door

my life fell out onto the ground
the screaming inside finally came out
one scream it didn't last long
it was full of all my lies
I've been telling to belong
Alone I stand now
bleeding and beaten
hurting but smiling still
my stomach empty of guilt
but now full of pills

my heads spinning don't look at me
my body is bleeding why can't you see
I've been dying
I've been crying
I've been weaving my web of lies
telling myself I'll be fine
truthfully untruthful
only one person saw
I'm so sorry mom....
I'm so sorry I'm gone