You will leave(revised)

My heart hurts although I dont know why
These hot tears of fear I cry
My mind at ease with all the chaos
My heart in wreckage over this

Life today I do not wish to have any longer
Throwing this to you
You hold my pain for a while
You see the things I do

Loving him you wouldnt have a clue
To want to hold him so bad you cry
Wishing on every star
Just to get to see your guy

My life isnt all that hard
My pain and anger are
Your supposed to hold me hand
To show me around this hopeless land

You once were there to catch me when I fell
Where are you now that Im stuck in hell?
These emotions I cant handle
As I sit here staring past the candle

My fears are over powering me
Caught between a rock and a hard place
Nowhere to run to go and be safe
Hiding around my man I cant hold

My life seemed too easy, so carefree, all the while
My life I thought was all-great just turned all-wild
How can I show you, How can you know
I have to hold on so tight, for the fear I might just let go

My body is shaking, my tears running fast
I dont know how to show you all of my past
Not knowing if you even care
My silent soul in shambles

Not knowing where to go now
Home, to that hellhole
back to all the past pain
Do I continue running?
Hoping you find me in the game

I have to move on now to let go and run free
I have to leave my fear and troubled days
I am just scared if I show you me ...
...You will leave me

this poem is NOT for or about shadowe, this is about my family and "friends"
ness