Inspiration

by Mousie   May 16, 2007


Uncommon to the sharpest ear
Inspiration came from somewhere near.

Shattered image of the perfect girl,
Condfidence dwindled, darkness swirled.

Facade of glee, no evil here,
But blanketed and filled with fear.

Enlightened eyes foreshadow light,
Regained her worth, everything's right.

Inspired by past accomplishments,
Surprised herself in wonderment.

But not forgetting those others around,
Mentors reached her before hitting the ground.

i wrote this about myself, because i was really down on my confidence and just down on myself all this year feeling like a failure until i had to fill out a scholarship application and realized how much i had really done in just the last few years, and i got a new boost of effort and confidence. i have recently taken a huge college exam as a sophomore and studied crazily, and i have felt really great about myself.
this poem is also dedicated to ross- my inspiration to strive for something and to appreciate myself, my 2 little cousins who have been through crazy health problems in just the first few years of their lives and are overcoming them- they have taught me to keep going even when you've hit rock bottom and think it can't get worse, and to goran- for being my inspiration to write and to use that to reveal all of my emotions along with giving me the confidence i was lacking in myself and in my writing. thank you all.

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    I really enjoyed this, I found it to be very uplifting and inspirational.
    Flow was good throughout, and though rather short it was filled with emotion.

  • 18 years ago

    by Goran Rahim

    Another great poem,
    i have to say this was one of your best ones, and thank you for the dedication... you are truly a great writer and hopefully soon a published author.
    life is steps and we should always be willing to take next step and see where we end up.
    great job once again.

  • 18 years ago

    by xxSnow Angelxx

    This 1 is really good...
    "Shattered image of the perfect girl,
    Condfidence dwindled, darkness swirled."
    ^^My fave line!!...Very beautiful...rhyme scheme was good too...Kp writing!....a good 5/5!!:-)

    xxPoojaxx

  • 18 years ago

    by Startle Me

    The very beginning seemed a bit forced.
    But just by a little bit.
    The second line was a bit random, though.
    First you were talking about inspiration
    Then you started talking about
    The image of your girl.
    Reading it again...
    I kind of thought your whole poem was a bit random.
    Just some peices put in together to make
    One whole poem.
    I thought it was just weird.
    Sorry for the harsh comment.
    I'll give you a 4
    But PM me if you want it.
    If you don't, it's all good.

  • 18 years ago

    by Simple Sensation

    Hey,
    I really enjoyed this poem. The flow was good nad your vocabulary was excellent. The title i thought you should of changed it to something that will make the reader more intrested in reading thepoem. I liked the message you had in this poem. And i liekd the kinda story it told. I loved this stanza in particula;

    "Shattered image of the perfect girl,
    Condfidence dwindled, darkness swirled."

    I really liked teh seound line of this. Youve got this rhyme hear. As well as alliteration with; "dwindled, darkness". When reading this i kinda paused in the middle of these two words, and this had a great affect. A good poem. Can i suggest you use mroe varied punctuation. Keep writing! xx

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