That was beautifull. i loved it good job!

Wow :P Thanks for the honest comment hihi :) It will help me improve

Awww That Was Beautiful =] it was cute =]

I liked it but I think it could be much better if you did some rewording..You should use more powerful words and made it all flow.. I give it a 4...if you change it up any let me know so I can read it again..
Tyanna

Great writing...i like it

First stanza.
Most beautiful person... beautiful tonight.
You should find a synonym for beutiful :]
Coz? Try to refrain yourself from using
Slang words.
It's just... weird, I have to say.
Try to stay away from pronouns.
Use real names, even though they are fake.
Also, get away from articles.
They're just unnesessary add-ons.
At least they are in my mind.
You SHOULD thank your friend...
I love this poem.
It just needs a little wax in it.
Lol.

First off, there`s a lot of repeating . Starting from the very first line . "Beautiful ." When I was reading it out loud, all the "Her"`s didn`t sound good . I`ve read some of your works -- You can make it better (:

When you used "Beneath the stars" twice, it completely just lost the love withheld in that . To me anyways .

"Coz I am her man" Overused these days . You can totally think of something more creative, dude .

The poem felt really forced . Like a couple of the lines were totally sweet, but line after line didn`t really seem to go together, `naa mean ? It was horrid, but it was enough to make me wanna fall asleep -- & I like you`r poetry .

Ultimately, a four out of five at most .
Sorry if this is like a punch in the face x)
..__MiNDYY

I found this poem to be quite good but a few errors ran throughout it. You repeated the word "i" and "i'm" alot throughout it and i know its hard not to do it when your writing in first person. You used slang words throughout this poem which i really hate because they sound so street slang when said and not beautiful expecially in a love poem. I loved the line "beneath the stars" It held alot of emotions but u used it twice throwing the poem off and losing its emotion. The best thing about this poem was the meaning and the emotion i think you portrayed them to things nicely. Good effort on this poem~mel

I felt you repeated words a lot in the poem but it didn't affect the way i read it. I actually liked the fact that you kinda tossed some slang in the poem and used words more then once. It felt more like I was listening to you think, how you were going over what you felt and wanted to say in your head. Excellent job 5/5

Beautiful poem m'dear!
though there were a pretty few errors...it did'nt effect the beauty of the poem...the repetition had a good effect!...but i do think use a li'l more powerful words could do wonders to the poem's looks...anyways..all the same..u've done a good job wth this1..Kp it up!
xxPoojaxx

Came = come (?)

Its my = It's my

stops, gazed = You have to get control of your tenses. It switches between past, future, and present tense throughout the poem which can affect how the reader interprets your poem and also what they think of the poem.

Well written poem, and you managed to avoid making the poem cute, and yet still be a love poem. Very well written, and I must urge you to add punctuation in your poems more often, and to also make sure that your punctuation is used correctly.

5/5
~Stephen White

CUTEEEEEEEEEEE =D ^^

Amazing poem, excellently written. Keep up the fantastic work. Check out some of my poems when you have the time.

Best Wishes
Wallace

Hey!...the revised version betterlol..lot more beautiful..yeah...maybe editting once again will give it a better effect...u've expressed love beautifully thru this 1..but u've stick on to any one of the tense..otherwise..this work is amazing...u r very talented...kp writing!
Good wrk!
5/5=)
xxPoojaxx

It`s a lot better than the original . You repeated a lot of I`s & I`ms which kind of took away from the poem .

My heart leaps faster every time or bodies shift
My heart has confess to me, that she's the one for me.
` Or = our
"My heart confesses, that she`s the one for me ." sounds better . You repeated me in the same line, and it just doesn`t soudn right to me .

Tears pour from her eyes.. (I've been waiting for this moment)
She gaze into my eyes and kissed me beneath the stars.
`REPiTiTiON of "eyes ." And gaze = gazes .

Its her
`It`s her

Edit it just once more maybe . Keep watching for VT . Punctuation please . But other than that, this version is much better (:
..__MiNDYY

Your poem is really good..b ut you have some grammical errors, and as well wayyy too much repeating.. but I won't help you because I know you have the potential to change the mistakes to learn to become a better poet than you are now.. good luck and good job.. 4/5

My heart has confess to me, that she's the one for me
take away the has and confess should be confesses, that shes the one for me. Just a sugestion, you don't have to do it.

I's and me's were repeated alot, but it wasn't that bad, the flow was good, and the flow was great, deep emtion perfect otherwise. 5/5

Im sorry it took so long for me to comment back, but i love this poem i love the words you use to describe her :angelic smile: thats beautiful to me...5/5 for sure !

I really enjoyed this...but I thought at times the flow seemed kind of shaky and off.
I could definitely sense the emotion in this, but to me it seemed like you didn't quite know what to write...though maybe that is just because the flow seemed off to me...
However, I absolutely ADORE the ending, it is beautiful and sweet, by the time I read that I had an idiotic grin on my face.

Beautiful poem. Imagery was great. Keep up the good work : )