This is excellent, i like it alot. good job. =]

This is powerful writing, it starts and ends amazingly though maybe you lost it a little in the middle.
Very impressed.

L

Yes, I went back to re-read it I enjoyed it that much.
You say you stopped when you were getting emotional, that is often the best time to write!

L

Aww. yea the poem could be added upon. i can see why would get emotional over it.. its gorgeous. the words and flow and everything were beuatiful. fyi- threw was the wrong one, through...

=]

Wow this poem was amazing.. i love the way it was written... each stanza was so powerful and filled with emotion.. i love the way you described the emotions and feelings throughout the poem.. the whole thing was just perfectly written.. 20 votes and still a 5.0... tells you something there.. excellent job.. keep it up and thanks for the comment. =]

Truly great....
i really loved every word of it, so great.
you are a great writer and keep it up.
a 5/5 from me as you really deserve it.

Awesome poem, very emotional and the ending wasnt bad at all, sometimes poems dont need a great ending to finish it, because the story has such a great flow to it, it leaves it open.. if that makes sense.. But all in all very well written :) 5/5 well done

"Kiss me like it's our last day here,
present me to the crowd with no fear,
Smile bright when you see me arrive,
your heart is all I need to survive."

I adored that stanza I found it to be quite beautiful sweet and strong. Really sparked me. This whole poem was capturing and caught my attention. Well done with this~mel

This was really good. I did see a couple of mistakes but it looks like everyone already pointed most of them out.. anyway.. Good job.. keep up the good work 5/5

This is beautiful, the opening is powerful, really pulls the reader into the poem, the flow is good throughout and the imagery creates vivid pictures.

Thank you for commenting on my piece. For this one you have written from my perspective it has everything that is inside me right now it is a great reflective piece.

I don't care if words are not spelt correctly....i got the meaning and I loved it.

Its a lovley poem hunni =)
*hugs* for you!
i understand how u feel.
such an emotional poem! well done!

Love
Jacs
xxx

Beautiful, absolutely beautiful, that brought tears to my eyes, cos it was lovely. You have so much talent!

Yay, 40 comments =] And I think you deserve nothing less for this poem. I again, really love the flow.. and you just made me want to keep on reading. Oh, by the way .. I adore this line: Breath in my soul and kiss the depths. Wow!
5/5 Again =)

The ending is great i really liked it
it ws a great stanza my favorite stanza was
Kiss me like it's our last day here,
present me to the crowd with no fear,
Smile bright when you see me arrive,
your heart is all I need to survive.
this was ana amazing poem def 5/5

Interesting, but it seems unfinished. I'd like to reread it once you've finished developing your ideas. The last stanza leaves some imagery that needs to be developed more. Good job, I enjoyed reading it

2nd stanza, last line - consider changing "never ever" - it's repetitive and disrupts the flow of the poem.

3rd stanza, 2nd line - "present" is awkward... It definitely changes the feel of the poem. I understand the overall idea, but there is a strong pre-association with 'present' for readers, and their own interpretation may skew your overall intention. Consider using a more ambiguous synonym.

4th stanza, 3rd line - "raging" very awkward. Once again it disrupts the flow of the poem and the verbage is not representative of the rest of the poem.

5th stanza, 2nd line - "make" and "want" are both very overused words... I try to avoid the very common colloquial terms. Picking your vocabulary carefully can make all the difference when trying to convey emotion and connect with your audience.

It was short and sweet but to the point...And I think the ending was just right..Not the best but you know..

Kiss me like it's our last day here,
^ I really liked that line...It was powerful I thought...

Anyway...Your a really good writter and I think your going on my fav's...

Overall 5/5..

Threw=through

Otherwise a good poem. Do you write a poem and then leave it without editing it again? It's good to go back and change things, revise revise revise and until it's perfect

Very Very beautyful...

specially this stanza...:)

""""Kiss me like it's our last day here,
present me to the crowd with no fear,
Smile bright when you see me arrive,
your heart is all I need to survive.""""

RASHEED