I hurt for you...

I hurt inside because of you
I loved you the day I saw you smile
The day I saw those eyes full of the same pain I feel
The day I heard you say my name
How the words seemed to curl around me
But I put on my mask
That shields you from my true thoughts and emotions
I've trained myself to seem distant and unattached
So as to make you feel that I just want to be friends
But I can't hide it all the time
The brief moment when my shield's down
You can look in my eyes and catch a glimpse in my heart
At times when I think you may not notice
I look a little to long at a part of you
Whether it be your eyes, your lips, or even your hand
It's all the same to me
It's all apart of the guy I secretly adore
But you'll never know unless you try to find those moments
I fear being rejected so I keep you at bay
With evasive banter and such to make it seem that I need nobody
But secretly I long for someone I can trust with my heart
Do you wonder to yourself "Is she talking about me?"
Maybe I am, and maybe I'm not
Will you question my actions, my words, my appearance?
Will you pursue to see if this is true?
I don't know, and may never know
'Till that day comes, if ever, I shall watch you from afar
Waiting, wanting, wishing for you to join me in the shadows.