Breathe me

by firexdancer   May 29, 2007


Ocean,
waves lapping against the shore so silently,
yet with the loud beating of my heart,
foam dissolving into sand,
white sand.

sun,
burning all the colors of the earth,
stripped of it's redness from the heat,
rays falling into my mind,
a butterfly.

sky,
holding the world tight with clouds,
laughter in it's purest form,
the last piece of the universe,
so blue.

earth,
the ground another life form,
breathing with the heaviness of footsteps,
covering it's body,
still alive.

wind,
spinning in the depths of sunshine,
breaking through the barriers,
so cold, a killer,
yet beautiful.

world,
i live inside the world,
yet i long for something better,
selfishness i know, but i want happiness,
gorgeous cold.

nothing,
nothing is what i want,
an empty void of the black's crystals,
so that i can rest, and breathe;
breathe me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
um i kind of need comments on this, because im not sure really if it is even good at all or not, so i would appreciate any feedback.
thanks
gabriella

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Nix

    Second stanza is beautiful written, but fourth stanza is still my favorite one. In this poem you created marvelous atmosphere. Your vocab is OUTSTANDING, you always impressed me. You are one of my favorite authors on the site. These peace is breath-taking, but I didn't like fist stanza very much. Anyway, your work deserves 5/5.

  • 16 years ago

    by Kalee

    This is a very descriptive poem. I sounded wonderful. it was well written and the flow was wonderful. 5/5

    Kalee

  • 16 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    I love this...I find it to be original and unique in concept, beautifully written, and I love the imagery you used, it creates very vivid pictures.
    The ending is beautifully done, perfectly wrapped up and very intense.

  • 16 years ago

    by xxSnow Angelxx

    Sky,
    holding the world tight with clouds,
    laughter in it's purest form,
    the last piece of the universe,
    so blue.
    ^^I liked this..specially the second last line
    I liked the structure of this poem..Good job...n thoughtful selection of words...simple yet wel done!
    Good job!
    5/5
    xxPoojaxx

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