Lethal love.

As I lie in the fatal stance
Clutching my abjected heart
I'm ready for the mountains of pain
Waiting to pitifully fall apart

Being torn from the inside out
As my life is slowly hoarded
I choke on the screams, stuck in my throat
I wish I could just forfeit

But this is how I spend my nights
crying away all sanity
Sometimes I'll bawl for hours
loosing touch with all humanity

Then at one point I'll forcefully
drift off into sleep
and try to bare the horror of
the nightmares my subconscious keeps

Then somehow I'll make it through
And push the feelings deep inside
and try to forget everything
the numbness just feels right

I know I can't go on like this
One day I'm going to blow
but I can't think of another way
then to let my heart explode

There's a war in my conscience
Both sides are fighting strong
on whether I should win or die
who knows which side is right or wrong?

I blame it on this one man
Who told me that he loved me
Then left me lost, hurt, confused
and never again though of me

If only he knew how I lie awake
trying not to suffer
But no, I'm sure he sleeps fine
Never thinking of his ex lover

And this is how my life will be
for perhaps another decade
by then I will move on in life
or decide I've had all I can take

My days are now a struggle
I try to make it through
But I don't know how much longer I can live
Alone. Afraid. Without you.