My Life

* hi!!! i just thought that i should share this with you... so please read it and tell me what you guys think... thanks *hugs*

Once i had a life that i really liked
I had my dad, my brother and my love by my side
The three men who mean to me the most
But things changed, i had a big loss

I lost my dad, he's always busy with his work
I lost my brother, he works on that boat
I think I'm losing my love, he gets quiet by the day
I asked him why but he didn't say

I started cutting myself night after night
Thinking that it would make everything alright
But nothing seems to work at all
Everyone just left me here, they simply let me fall

The cuts in my arms, they are so deep
The memories I'm trying to cut away, the memories i don't wanna keep
They are graved into my head forever
They just won't disappear and it won't get better

My life is turning out so wrong
I know that i just don't belong
But I'm to scared to take my own life
Coz what if something goes wrong, what if i survive

Then i would screw it up so bad
Why does my life have to be so sad
My heart is broken, my eyes are full of tears
An abandoned girl, left alone here with fears

I don't know what happened or what i did
Please tell me, don't look at me like I'm stupid
Why did my life change in so many ways
Do i really have to cut myself everyday

The pain i feel inside is so deep
At night i take my knife and make myself bleed
Hoping that this pain i feel can just go away
But it seems that this pain is planning to stay

I started smoking, thought it would make me feel good
But it's not working, i don't feel like i should
My life is bad, it's not like i want it to be
I keep all my feelings inside so no one can see

Each day i walk around with a fake smile on my face
I just want to run away and get out of this place
I wish my life can be normal, no need to pretend
Coz i am planning for my life to end

I tried to pray, I'm not sure how
I did everything, fold my hands while kneeling down
I asked God to help my get through this
Before i take my knife and cut my wrists

My life is nothing but a big fake
It's something that i can no longer take
So one day I'll say goodbye and take my knife
And put an end to my f.u.c.k.e.d up like