Dear Will,

by βlαξκ ♥ hεαrÏ„   Jun 9, 2007


When my eyes met your eyes.
I know my soul jumped in your heart.
The heart, in my mind the most complex body part.
Creating love, like abstract art
And once it dies all falls apart
But for now, the feelings are strong
Making my life into a lovely song
Singing the memories, and the ones soon to come
You and I hum the melody, and make it up as it all becomes
Becomes what we hope for, the outcome,
Where it all ends and comes from
Because this happening, we can’t escape from
The way I feel, its madness, true madness,
cautious because, with the slightest move its sadness
Buts its me and you and you and me
Standing on top of the world
And as this story starts,
Lets listen as the rest is unfurled.
Because right now,
I can almost feel your heartbeat
And my heartbeat is on your downbeat,
Connected, though body and mind
And when our souls intertwine and we combine
The love we make cannot be confined
Therefore we are undefined
As we live together one of a kind.
Understand that I love you
Although love is incomprehensible
Understand that I love you
Although love is unbelievable
Understand that I love you
Even if love is for a fool
Because I’m a fool for you
Understand that I love you.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by nikki

    It was a great poem. the flow was almost there and the words that had been all weird (eg:can�t) but i loved it just wish i knew what those words were meant to be. i gave you a 5/5. great work

  • 16 years ago

    by adelinaxx

    This is an excellent poem. the meaning and emotions are conveyed great. nice work

  • 16 years ago

    by Brittany C

    Great poem. The word choice was great. Um, there was one typo that I saw. The flow is a little off but it isn't anything to bad. I gave it a 5/5.

  • 16 years ago

    by Debbie

    I perceive this piece with great promise. It has the potential to be augmented in the future. Now, if I may suggest, perhaps breaking it into stanzas will enhance the flow? ...overall, it's a nicely written piece. In which way, certain descriptions and phrases caught my attention with mild interest.

    Nice work, nonetheless.

  • 16 years ago

    by Startle Me

    You said eyes twice in your first line.
    It made your it redundant.
    Maybe you could change it into
    When my eyes met yours.

    The heart, in my mind the most complex body part.
    Really forced in my eyes.

    Because this happening, we [[can�t]] escape from
    That happens to me too :P

    All in all.
    I felt it was a bit forced, out of structure.
    You should recheck your poem once you post it.
    You might end up having symbols on it.

    All in all.
    It was alright.
    It caught my attention, though.
    4/5?
    Hmm...
    I don't know if I should downvote you.
    You might get offended.
    Would you mind?
    PM me if yes.
    Ignore this if no. :]

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