The Stillness of the Night (Kyrielle)

by Simple Sensation   Jun 10, 2007


*This is my first try at writing an kyrielle. Constructive criticism is always welcomed by me..*

In the dark stillness of the night;
A creature stalks, hidden from sight.
And suddenly creature finds prey;
He pounces with deep disarray.

He makes sure they are no remains,
Nothing left for them to domain.
Ploughing and picking at his quay
He pounces with deep disarray.

Laughter erupts, as devil glares,
Eyes lose light when kneeling in prayer.
His claws blemish then they betray;
He pounces with deep disarray.

Perfectly Imperfect
10th June 2007

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A Kyrielle is a French form of rhyming poetry written in quatrains (a stanza consisting of 4 lines),
and each quatrain contains a repeating line or phrase as a refrain (usually appearing as the last
line of each stanza). Each line within the poem consists of only eight syllables. There is no limit
to the amount of stanzas a Kyrielle may have, but three is considered the accepted minimum.

The rhyme pattern is completely up to the poet.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by CHOKE

    Wow. this one was so into depth and it was very intriguing as well as capturative. i don't see anything that you should change, it was great :)

  • 16 years ago

    by DeathlyAmore

    Its ME again.

    Okay. So first. The Critique.
    1) You need to work with... better flow. I don't know how... to EXPLAIN what I mean... but... it needs a better... hmm... please forgive me, but I can not explain better. All I can tell you is it needs better 'flow'.*

    2) You must find... other words to rhyme with. The rhyme is okay. But the words you used are... well. Do not fit. For example:

    "His claws blemish then they ''betray'';
    He pounces with deep disarray."

    Quote the word Betray. How did the claws of this... creature betray? Does the creature know this... other character? So then this Creature ''betray's'' him/her?

    (Get what I mean?)

    For the praise!!!!
    Lol. Good Poem. I like the Theme, er. Plot. Idk whats the correct term. Theme? Plot?. The backround meaning of the poem. Get it?

    I like the POEM okay? Besides. "Kyrielle's" does not look easy... They proven to be very difficult. The fact you managed the PLOT to make sense is impressive.

    I am impressed. Truly I am.

    I cannot vote Excellent because I seen MASTER poems in this... form of writing.

    But its not Fair. Its beyong better than fair. Its better than Good too. But I can't put excellent...

    I comprised with Good.
    But in my opinion. It's Excellent.

    PLEASE WRITE MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I shall forever always be,
    [Deathly'Amore]

  • 16 years ago

    by Anonymous Angel

    Hey,
    A nice poem, I haven't written a Kyrielle yet but it seems intresting..I think you did a wonderful job on making this poem, the flow is good as wel as the rhyming, you deserve a 5/5 from me, and I'm glad the site helped^_^
    kisses stephanie

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