This Time I'm Not Scared

A twist of my wrist,
I point to the sky.
I scream and I holler,
And then I just sigh.

I know you're there!
Please, listen to me,
Wrap me in your loving arms,
So that I may fly free.

I must have made you angry,
For you ignore my desperate pleas,
My last request: Just let me die,
And put my soul at ease.

One dark curtain veils my face,
I'm in the dark, and I'm afraid.
On my knees, I closed my eyes
And silently, I prayed.

I know you hear me when I call,
I beg and cry for you.
Please, just take me home and
Stop the pain I've been put through.

I lie down on the bathroom floor,
The tile's cold against my face.
A notepad and a pen I take,
To leave my mother one last trace:

I'm sorry I left, the way I did;
But my soul's broken, tattered, torn,
I must have always been this way,
From the moment I was born.

I do not want you to be sad,
For finally, I'm free.
Just smile up at the blue sky,
When someone mentions me.

This is a hard good-bye to write,
For I know you hoped the best,
But, Mother, know that I love you,
And my soul is finally at rest.

I leave the note upon her bed,
And sit down by the door.
With a sharp blade, I tear my skin
Blood's dripping on the floor.

My life is fading very fast,
But there's one more thing to do.
In blood, on mother's carpet,
I write, Mommy, I love you.

I curl around my message,
And start to fall asleep,
I know I won't wake up again,
I cut myself too deep.

My mind at peace, I smile.
My time's come, and I'm prepared
Darkness sinks around me,
But this time I'm not scared.