Nothing, I am

In this land of bright lights and white stars,
why from this life do i apart,
the only black hole in the sky.
as i cracked from my egg of pure white,
i stared at my hands even though it was night,
seeing nothing, just the darkness they were.
my darkness, so hard to breathe,
the nothing that became something for me,
covering my eyes.

i cannot see in the dark, though maybe,
i've just forgotten why i needed to see,
the light is what blinded my eyes.
you heard me singing and asked: why do you sing?
because it is my closest thing to laughter, it rings,
as i sing out my song of grief
i've realized that nothing always goes back to nothing,
i was born from it and i was never something,
the dark was just my longing to be held.

insanity, yes maybe that's what i was meant to become,
no, for i am nothing and i run,
faster than anything else that is dead.
yes, death, nothing more powerful than no heart,
if you think i have ended this is just the start,
even though i still cry at night.
nothing but a wolf's lonely cry,
the whisper of longing in the bird's will to fly,
invisible for once in my life.

so beautiful is this broken silence,
that i have become, my penance,
for the sins i never were.
so young to say goodbye forever,
yet i will never speak of love again, never,
look at what i have become.
a monster was all that i had of a soul,
now it is completed, this emptiness of soul
the coldness is just part of the deal.

fight back, don't break, shatter.
as your million pieces fall to ground with a clatter,
take joy in their screams.
and nothing is left of yourself,
nothing but a pen left on the shelf,
red blood for the ink.
i smile in death,
oh it is so beautiful to long for breath,
after you threw it away.

my punishment for tears,
i was given my fears,
they killed me, the lost memory i am
yet happiness wasn't my dream anyway,
i just wanted to never be sad in the day,
my wish never came true but yours can.
so i wave you goodbye,
remember to never cry,
or you'll end up as nothing, i am.