Despite circumstances

As a child of red dust planes,
No harm could come.
Crisp fresh air,
Insects hum.

Here comes civilisation,
The pools of thought.
Sand swept minds,
The child distraught.

It’s all right Daddy, I won’t cry.

To the point of no return,
We seek none other than survival.
Welcome to adolescence,
The pain surges on arrival.

There is no such place,
In which I can hide.
From this great race,
I am forced to fight.

I’m ok Daddy, I can do this.

Without that welcomed warmth
Not a hand to clutch in mine.
Nor soul at all compassionate,
No one to whom confide.

I continue to lay bricks,
Building my great wall.
Nothing but protection,
From which I cannot fall.

Daddy, Where is the path on which I can run away?

You can’t get close,
For soon I will have to leave.
Knowing this will happen,
No pain I will achieve.

Bottled in this quest,
Of fear and lonely hate.
Screaming on the inside,
I found that cold and shiny blade.

Daddy, please tell her not to yell.

Roll down your sleeves to hide the scars
Paint a smile.
Fake until real,
You’ll be okay.
It’s all worthwhile.

Go home to shouts of disappointment,
School isn’t that tough?
Your brothers always perfect.
You were never good enough.

Daddy? Am I still worthy of her love?

But I will be OK.
This I can do.
Soon it will be over,
I just have to see it through.

Then the call comes,
Your bestie? Bound to fall?
Leukemia.
One word destroys it all.

Daddy, I think it’s raining.

My heart beats tremendously,
Like a monkey with a drum.
My heads hits the pillow,
Tears rolling yet so numb.

The dry, crisp burnt leaves
Surrounding autumn driveways
Calling on me to slumber
In a nightmare stricken haze.

Until the morning brings the light of day,
Before this life I ponder,
Memories swept dewdrops
The excitement with this wonder…

I choose to live Daddy…

Life goes on.