Flickering Through Past Memories

Hey,
I owe you an apology for the such late prize things. Iowe you 6 comments. My computer died on me so this is the reasen i havent done it. Unfortunately tomorow im going to London so i might not be able to get all of your poems odne. But i will try and do as many as i can right now.

Anyways i lvoed the emotion you displayed in this poem. It is quite touching and im sure many readers can relate to this. When someone can relate to a poem - they are instantly more attracted to it and well they like it more. Now this poem doesnt have a brilliant flow. To improve this i suggest you either try and use more rhymes and have a clear rhyme scheme. Maybe try some formed poetry. The poem has this feeling about it, it makes me want to know more about what has happened. It makes me curious. Curiousity helps the reader keep their attention. I really enjoyed the emotion and how youve kept the reader intrested - Its hard for many poets out their. To improve i suggest you use punctuation - itll help the reader, read the poem the way you want it to be read. Keep up the good work. Congrats on winning andt hanks for entering. x

This one's good too

"Flickering through past memories
I start thinking of you and me
Just hanging around
Before i ended up here"

favorite part ^^
it sounds so real....i can almost feel it....

"I sit there and watch
My life pass away
As i lay there on the ground
And my life starts to fade"

^ You have no idea how much I have felt this. It's like there are times, when your whole life just flashes before your eyes && those memories are just soooo painful to see again.

I love this one. Very emotional && powerful. Fantastic job. 5.5

- Steph <3

Once again 5/5.
Good work! You're a wonderful writer!
Take care
.x

Aww thats so sad, but really touching and deep. I liked it a lot, nice job.
<3Robin