It was a great poem! Good job just a suggestion to put it in stanza xD hihi! but it was good. I like it! - thanks for the comment my friend, keep writing!

...That was awesome : ]] I loved the idea behind it and the way it ended as well. Great choice of words and splendid poem.

Wow this was a great poem, really nicely written. keep up the great work cause u r really talented dear

Hmm, i have never read a poem lke this. very intresting. i like this one alot. 5

It was so awesome. great work on this one, it is such a good idea. i have never read a poem on this topic before but i loved it, great work. it deserves a 5/5

Loved it! I thought the flow was brilliant, the wording was very well done and everything about this got my heart pumping.
You have a good talent here my friend, use it to your advantage
love Tara-Kay
x

'nothing stops the bright bold light'--I would subtract 'bright' from this sentence. Without 'bright,' the sentence will be much stronger. This poem really made me think, but I am still somewhat confused. Everything seems to happen so fast! Is this guy in a tribe? Is he being sacrificed? That's the impression I got.

Capitalization seems much more consistent in this poem. Well done.

5/5

This is very nicely gone about! The style slant is unique, and the flow was good. Good job of word usage, and description. I enjoyed reading this, but didn't feel any soul in it ... hum. A well written piece anyhow. (:

Take Care,
Smiles,
*N

This is so amazing...
this may sound weird, but you made death sound so totally beautiful.
your word choice was perfect, so was the flow and rhymes, great job!
5/5... 10 if i could :]

~Sandra

This is a really good poem, the last stanza was my favourite. It really stood out to me nice job xxx alex xxx

A very deep and indeed dark poem. The metaphors you used are unique and flow nicely. The rhyming and choosing of words are great again. Job well done 5/5

Oh holy crap..I LOVE that ending!

This was beautifully intense, very vivid and an enjoyable read.

Your opening stanza was very powerful and dragged me right in, with each line there after getting better and better.

But that ending..Oh yes, I love that!

Wow this was very deep and haunting ... the you just jumped into it, was quite effective. It was thought provoking and a great read. Well done *5/5*

Gotta love all dark poems,
I love it,
especially "the days he dies part"
oh god I had a total orgasm lol
5/5baby!!! rock on !

Awesome, great poem. 5/5

Wonderful.
your second stanza persnally is my favorite.
keep it up!

Other than a few grammar errors, I loved it! The emotion was strong, and you kept the reader intrigued. 5/5

-Liz-

"The shouting disappeared
darkness's leave awakens him
nothing can stop the bold light
from penetrating in"

^^ LOVE this opening, so much power and beautiful imagery, however I don't think you need "the" in the first line.

"A new day has started
and he knows without a doubt
no matter what he does or says
there's no way he's getting out"

^^Favourite stanza of the poem. So much melancholy yet so beautifully written, creating many emotions for me as the reader.

"The chantings ceased to ring
all possibilities, now lost
for fear no longer fears
and hopes to high a cost"

"Giving in sounds easy
but he knows the devil's tongue lies
now he feels betrayals scorn
for todays the day he dies"

^^ I didn't like the closing line here, it seemed weaker to me whereas I find the rest of the poem incredibly strong throughout.

That being said, I enjoyed this, imagery was beautifully portrayed throughout, as was the depth and emotion and the flow was flawless throughout.

^^ Other favourite stanza of the piece, I find this stanza to hold almost as much power as the rest of the piece put together.

Wow this was a powerful and dark poem you have writen here. it caught me right away.

A new day has started
and he knows without a doubt
no matter what he does or says
there's no way he's getting out

this was my bery bery favorite part. it touched me the most cuz sum can relate to it. nicely done.

Wow, I liked it, it flowed brilliantly, but I think that was down to the rhyming scheme. I am curios now, like why he's dying, all the metaphors, the true concept, oh well.